


cheesecakes & escapes

by u_shine_like_the_stars



Category: NCT (Band), NCT 127 - Fandom, WAYV
Genre: Angst, Drinking to Cope, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Possible Character Death, Post-Apocalypse, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, also yuta is kinda horny, bunker!AU, past tenwin, really not that sad lol, sicheng is not, yuta is rich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25976725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/u_shine_like_the_stars/pseuds/u_shine_like_the_stars
Summary: Yuta doesn't really want to die, neither does Sicheng, or at least so he believes. He glances over at Sicheng, who's skin is glowing in the golden sunlight. And maybe, just maybe, Yuta would be okay with dying like this.orSicheng lives a miserable life in a bunker after an apocalypse strikes the earth and he plans to escape, even though it will most likely get him killed. Somewhere along the way, he meets Yuta.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 29
Kudos: 33





	1. one

Two lefts and a right, Sicheng repeats in his head. He cannot mess this up, he thinks as he makes his first left, careful not to let his steps be too loud as the distinctive sound will echo against the plain cement walls a little too perfectly. Then he’d have fifteen or twenty seconds max until the guards make their way into the hallway, and he would be handcuffed, pressed up against those walls. Sicheng swallows hard, no, they will not get him alive. If he runs, they will probably shoot him in the back of the head, blood splattered on the cement walls. He grimaces, that’s not how he wants to go. He turns left again.

Sicheng has been locked in this goddamn prison of a bunker for the majority of his pathetic excuse for a life, and not to mention, alone. Or perhaps not _entirely_ alone, but in his definition, _yes_ , very much alone. In fact, he is so alone that being cramped down here with thousands of other people still makes him feel empty, and it has taken a toll on his soul. _It,_ the loneliness, is eating away the little sanity he has left. He must succeed this time, must succeed, must… 

  
Sicheng shakes his head and turns right. His entire body freezes up. He is _not_ alone.  
A man is sitting on the floor; it’s not a guard, Sicheng notes right away.  
The man has his knees pulled up tightly against his chest with a magazine of some sort in his hands. Sicheng is just about to turn around and make a run for it when the guy shifts his attention from the magazine right up on Sicheng. _Fuck._

  
“What- What the fuck are you doing up here?” asks the man with a flickering gaze.  
He doesn’t sound angry, but rather surprised. Sicheng sighs, this is it, he thinks, now he’s _actually_ going to get locked up in a teeny, tiny cell for the rest of his sad depressing life. As if it could get any worse than it already was.

_“Please!”_ Sicheng whines “can’t you just pretend you did not see me?” he can now kind of recognize the guy’s face, he has seen him before, Sicheng’s pretty certain. The guy has almost shoulder-length brown hair and is a bit shorter than Sicheng himself, but his familiar face soon becomes blurred as Sicheng’s eyes prickled with tears. The guy's facial expression softens for a short second before the corridor is filled with another presence.

  
“Yuta! If that is an escapee-” an angry voice threatens, this time it _is_ a guard.   
The name Yuta clicks in Sicheng’s brain. Ah, so that was his name. He remembered now. Yuta Nakamoto, the president’s son.  
Fear grabs him again as the guard quickly makes his way over to the pair.

  
“No! _No_ … This is my friend. I wanted to show him this but you know…” Yuta waves his magazine in the air, and it’s visibly something adult-rated, Sicheng can tell from the cover. 

  
“Oh? Oh! Of course! Sorry.” he gives them both a slight nod before leaving.

* * *

  
Yuta can feel his heart race before he takes a deep breath to calm down. How did this even happen? He just wanted to read some manga and now he has lied to a person of authority. _Damn_. He brings himself to look at the guy again.

  
“Why would you do that?” The boy frantically asks him with big hostile eyes.  
Yuta opens his mouth to answer, but he cannot, he doesn’t have an answer, doesn’t know why he covered for an unknown poor boy. _Poor boy, wow_ , Yuta is extra judgemental today, he thinks. But to his defence, he _does_ look kind of poor.  
The boy in front of him has dark, neatly trimmed hair and is carrying a suspicious bag over his shoulder. Yuta sighs, so he _was_ going to escape. He shrugs off the warm feeling that is creeping inside his chest unprovoked and clears his throat.

  
“Shut up! I just saved your ass! And why would you do that? Escape? Are you crazy? You would die after a day, you know that, right?” Yuta yells enraged. The guy buries his face in his hands and lets out a soft whimper.

  
“I know that and you know what? I’d rather die, but you would not get it? Now, would you? You ruined it for me!” he says with hurt in his voice as he slides down the wall behind him to sit on the floor. A wave of guilt washes over Yuta, and he instantly sits down in front of the boy.

  
“I’m sorry,” Yuta rushes to say as he brings his hand to the guy’s shoulder to console him. His hand gets pushed away.

  
“It is fine. I am not suicidal, or anything of the sort. I just do not want to die in here. I want to get out, see the ocean at least, It’s beautiful. Or so I recall," the dark-haired boy explains softly, he puts his shaky hands on top of his own knees and pulls them in close. Yuta hums, he finds a deep-rooted sympathy for the escapee, one he has yet to feel for anyone else. _Strange._

  
“Continue” Yuta finds himself saying, wanting to _know._

  
“What?” the boy looks at him, a little confused before he properly understands, “I just want to feel the ocean breeze on my skin one last time, or the sun. Is that too much to ask for?” he looks down at his feet before he continues, “God, and what I would not do to eat something other than canned food, a steak perhaps? Or a cheesecake, _my god…”_

  
“Cheesecake?” Yuta tilts his head and offers him a faint smile. “What’s your name?”

“Sicheng and I must go now,” Sicheng stands up and looks down on Yuta, wanting to say something, but decides to not. He walks off leaving Yuta on the ground, _thinking_. He has never encountered anyone who wants to leave. Yuta is intrigued but he knows he shouldn’t be, and he knows he certainly shouldn’t have lied to that guard to save Sicheng, yet he still did.

* * *

Sicheng brushes his teeth in front of the dusty mirror. Carefully looking around his cubicle in which he shares with a guy who never seems to be home, always comes in late and slightly tipsy off of some moonshine. But Sicheng will never complain, he remains the closest thing he has had to a faithful friend and will consistently provide him drunken advice. His roommate did not make it home last night though, Sicheng hopes that he is passed out in the janitors closet and that something worse has not happened. He spits out the toothpaste in the sink and is just about to leave when he shows up.

“Ten, what the hell? Where have you been?” Sicheng seeks his roommate who frantically grabs a half-empty water bottle and chugs it.

“I fell asleep in the freezer” Ten shrugs, "Crazy night,” He adds as he clumsily falls onto his bed.

“Why does that keep happening? Seriously?” Sicheng sits down on his own bed, so he is facing Ten’s.

“It’s fun” Ten stares at the ceiling, his head probably spinning like crazy, Sicheng looks unamused.

“You are drinking your life away, Ten,” Sicheng sternly warns before leaving their room for work. 

_What life?_ He can hear Ten shout after him, _great_ question, Sicheng ponders.

Every day is the same. Work is the same and food is the same and sleep is the same and everything. Is. The. Same. And to undoubtedly make it worse: Sicheng works in the goddamn laundry section. He has gotten used to it, however, which makes it a lot more tolerable. For most of the day, he simply zones out while shoving clothes into the washing machines that seem to be from ancient Rome. But it is fine, nonetheless.

He makes his way into the laundry room, that for some reason, is necessary for this bunker. _Well, this is a full functioning society, just underground_ , Sicheng reminds himself almost every day. The laundry room is empty, per usual, and Sicheng usually works alone except for some girl who comes in later at night, he rarely encounters her, though. The place where he works is not the only one in the bunker, but rather the only one placed on his floor, the floor furthest from the ground.

Nothing happens here, really, most days he just sits around and daydreams. _Again,_ it is fine. He guesses not many people have the dying need to get their clothes washed daily, people have got more significant things to waste time on. It purely made things easier for him, he still got paid the same; and that being nothing at all. It is more of a “work or get your room taken away” kind of system.  


  
Just a _little_ longer, he thinks, he is leaving soon after all. He would not be here still if that guy Yuta was not reading his magazine right then and there. Sicheng sighs and sits himself on top of one of the washing machines. Speak of the devil.

“Sicheng!” Yuta walks in through the door into the room filled with bright fluorescent lights. He was wearing a sweatshirt that seemed to be very much too big for him paired with some athletic shorts. The colours even clash with each other. Awful outfit, even for Sicheng.

“What are you doing here?” Sicheng tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling, “how did you even know I work here?”

Yuta smirks and explains, “My father maintains all the files, I just spent the night looking for yours”, Sicheng feels a little uneasy knowing that Yuta likely is in possession of all his information. “Don’t worry, I didn’t look through it, just your occupation,” Yuta tells after while waving his hand in defence after not receiving an answer.

Sicheng groans, “I do not care, Nakamoto, but do let me know why you wanted to find me,” he cannot help himself from asking why in the world someone wanted to see him, voluntarily. 

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday,” says Yuta, “plus, we should be friends,”   
he looks down at the floor and gently kicks around some dirt with his foot.

Despite Sicheng’s refusals, Yuta stays and helps him with the laundry, for the entire workday. _“I feel bad”_ is what he had said even though Sicheng had insisted it was fine.

* * *

Later that week Ten does come home,( to Sicheng’s surprise). His words are still slurred, and he lays down horizontally on the bed with his feet against the wall. A slight giggle bounces off the cement walls. The party had ended early, Sicheng suspected. His roommate tilts his head back off the edge of the bed to make eye contact.

“I’m sorry,” he states suddenly, the playfulness in his eyes suddenly gone, “for never being here.”

Sicheng answers only with a faint smile, but Ten’s words hitting him in a place he never expected. He suffers a pang in his chest when he realizes he never told his roommate goodbye or wished him a happy future or even showed him the slightest bit of affection one last time. Sicheng feels bitterly disappointed in himself because the thought never even crossed his mind. And he almost feels relieved, for not making it out that day. Relieved that the image in his mind of Ten coming home and wondering why his roommate's possessions are gone is _just_ an image in his mind and not reality. Ten squirms around on the bed until his both of his feet are placed on the floor and he’s facing Sicheng now. His eyebrows furrow underneath the inky bangs like something more is bothering him and Sicheng is not daring enough to ask about it.

“No, I am sorry, Ten.” but he apologizes, and then he explains.

Ten confesses as well, that he too feels guilty for not making an effort. That they have known each other for too long.

“Will you sleep in my bed tonight?” asks Ten “It’s cold, they are cutting down the heating,” he rushes to add. Sicheng does agree to it, although he has never fancied being close, though the reason likely being that he has never experienced it in a long time. 

After dinner the two of them undress and get under the covers of Ten’s bed; it is relatively cramped and has Sicheng almost falling out. Ten stops him from doing so, however, by pulling him in tightly. Sicheng cannot help but tense up, the feeling of someone else’s skin against his own merely burning him. Ten must have noticed because he assures him that it is okay and that he should not worry.

“I kind of just want you here, Sicheng, before you leave,” he goes on to admit, “I’m going to miss you terribly, and I know you don’t believe that.” 

Sicheng hums, and just when he is about to fall asleep Ten mumbles something. Something he knows Ten would never dare to say if he knew that Sicheng would hear, something Ten says now that he believes that Sicheng is asleep.

“I like you... A lot, Sicheng”

  
Sicheng squeezes his eyes shut and pretends he is nothing but that; _asleep._ He understands, right at this moment, exactly _how_ and in _what way_ Ten likes him and it makes sense to him now. His roommate‘s statement is a truism and the air in their room feels thin. 

Sicheng and Ten have a past.

  
He can recall how Ten would take care of him, before he got all these drinking issues going on, anyway. How he always brought him home stuff that he stole from the gift shop _and how he never looked away when Sicheng got changed_. Sicheng does not feel discomfort and he certainly does not fear. Ten caresses his shoulder carefully, barely letting his fingertips brush against Sicheng’s skin. His breathing becomes heavier behind Sicheng before he falls into slumber: It feels familiar. But the fancying in question is not something Sicheng returns, even if he wished to. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thankssss for reading!  
> the following chapters will be up very soooon!!!!!


	2. two

A few days is all he needed. Sicheng pulls out a lonely chair in the cafeteria and sits down. It is half empty as the time is a little past noon and the room that always holds a big crowd feels eerie. It does not matter, however, Sicheng came here for one reason and that reason being to plan his escape (2.0). It feels weird, leaving, now that he has had the time to think about it. But he did not have a change in heart or anything.

Maybe Yuta could help him since he always talks about feeling so sorry, that would be rather helpful. Yuta is a nice guy. Sicheng convinces himself; he does not feel shame while being seen with Sicheng, or so it seems. Because to tell the truth, the two are unsupposed to be hanging out, Sicheng works as a wash machine guy, _for god’s sake_. The last time he showered was a good few days ago, his clothes are worn out and he has one friend. Yuta is the president’s son. There is a _bit_ of a contrast. 

Sicheng feels his thoughts slowly tint towards sadness. It gets so unpleasant breathing sometimes, like the air inside contains something he is allergic to. It feels like a slight stab with every inhale. He was never meant to be here, and this is _all_ wrong. This is not a new feeling but it gets more intense every time, and Sicheng _needs_ to get out, or it will only hurt more. Some nights he won’t sleep at all, instead, he stares at the ceiling and imagines what freedom feels like, what it feels like to breathe air _and what it feels like to not wake up_. The cafeteria started emptying while he remained the same, his body going weak, either from the lack of food or from the uneasy feeling that caught him once again.

* * *

Yuta tells his friends goodbye to make his way to the cafeteria; he tends to head over there a few hours after lunchtime to get snacks. That is prohibited of course, but Yuta does not live under any rules, and he appreciates that. It was usually enough to just ask, but sometimes he has to flirt with the wilful girl that works behind the counter to get what he wants.

He catches himself wondering where Sicheng is, and _god_ , he has _got_ to stop thinking about him. Maybe he should have let him go that day, he ponders.

Yuta has lived in a bubble, without the knowledge that people would even _want_ to leave. That people would risk going to jail for the rest of their time just to see the ground for _one_ day. Before they died, (probably). It does not make sense to him. But then again he has everything, of course he cannot understand. 

The cafeteria is quiet and Yuta curses himself for distinguishing _him_ right away. He is sitting alone, and Yuta swears he can almost see the black cloud above his head, glossiness like a cover protecting his eyes despite his tries to blink it away. Unsteady hands grip the cup in front of him like it’s his last lifeline and Yuta can feel his insides twist while he is truly mesmerised. With Sicheng looking like a piece of art carefully painted with melancholy, it is impossible for Yuta to not keep staring. He must have stopped staring at some point though, cause now he is walking right towards Sicheng who withdraws his gaze from where it was focused on the cup and notices Yuta. 

Yuta seeks him “Come with me, I have something for you.”

Sicheng looks around like a lost puppy before complying. Yuta finds himself doing breathing exercises in the elevator to avoid passing away due to involuntary suffocation. Sicheng, however, stays silent even though he left most of his gloomy cloud in that depressing cafeteria with that girl who Yuta has flirted with several times to get snacks. Despite them being rationed. 

“I have something for you” Yuta repeats.

Sicheng is the first to step out when the elevator stops because Yuta forgets to and he replies “I know, you said that already.”

He feels strangely out of breath while leading Sicheng to his room, probably because these events typically unfold with another intent. He closes the door behind them when they finally step inside the room. Sicheng looks around, eyes wide as he notices the queen size bed and the connected bathroom.

Yuta rushes to drop to his knees by his bed as Sicheng stands still by the doorframe. He searches for the cardboard box underneath it, accidentally tipping the pile of magazines he keeps stored there too while doing so. Until he finally grabs ahold of the box and places it on his bed. He calls over Sicheng who tries to ask Yuta what it is but gets cut off.

“You will see, it’s something for you.”

He can see Sicheng holding back a chuckle at the last part since Yuta has let him know three times now, that it _is_ for him. 

* * *

Sicheng does not know what to expect and gasps when Yuta opens the box. His mouth falls open as he takes in the sight of the cheesecake, yeah, _the cheesecake._

Yuta laughs, “You don’t even want to know-” he cracks his knuckles “-what I had to do to get this”

Sicheng feels his eyes widen again before Yuta reassures that is _just a joke._ They both laugh it off, but he still cannot phantom that someone got a cake for him, it was most likely made out of dry ingredients, since it is the only thing available here. 

Yuta mumbles an “I’ll be back, wait” and flees into the hallway. The slight distrust Sicheng had felt for Yuta slowly started to fade, he lets his hand run over the soft sheets on the bed where he now was placed and leans back onto the pillows behind him. It is a comfortable bed, he will admit.

“You remembered, about the cheesecake?” asks Sicheng softly when Yuta returns with two spoons. Truth is, he only ever mentioned cheesecake because it was the first thing that came to his mind that day, he really does like cheesecake, though.

“I did, and now I want you to tell me about yourself,” he sticks his spoon in the middle of the cake, in which Sicheng sighs audibly.

And so he does, he tells him about not having any parents, about him having one friend who turned out to be in love with him. And how he wanted to be a ballet dancer, but just like with everyone else’s dreams: It got locked away the second they closed the doors to this bunker. Yuta listens while stuffing his mouth full of the cheesecake.

“I was going to be a rockstar,” he then states while running a hand through his hair, “or a football player, at least” Sicheng eyes him. His hair is a washed-out brown, and how he gets his hands on hair dye, is a mystery. Yuta has a nice smile, that kind of smile that has you blinded. That paired with the mischievous sparkle in his eyes certainly gives off rockstar vibes, Sicheng thinks.

“You have the looks for it,” he points out while digging his spoon into the white mousse.

Yuta chuckles, “For football?”

“No-” Sicheng shoves the spoon in his mouth “-you look like a rockstar.”

“So you find me that hot?” he teases while reaching from where he’s sitting on the other side of the bed to wipe off some cake from Sicheng’s lower lip with his thumb. 

Sicheng panics, “I-... No?”

_Nice, you basically just called him ugly._ He thinks and mentally cusses himself, not that Yuta seems to be that bothered, anyway. He makes an offended face before he breaks out in laughter. Yuta is a strange guy, he concludes. And his presence has started to grow on Sicheng, whether he likes it or not. Maybe Yuta is a friend after all, but Sicheng does not _need_ a friend, he needs to leave. That is all he wanted since he turned sixteen, that is when learned to hate this place; when he understood that this was not temporary. He has missed out on his teen years since he was only ten when his parents had spent every last penny to get him a spot here, they could barely afford one. 

It has been eight years since then and sometimes he wishes he would have just died in the nuclear war like the rest, he feels ungrateful for thinking like that. But who will judge him, since his parents cannot? Yuta perhaps, he seems to worry about others a lot. Or maybe, Sicheng is wrong and in reality, he does not know anything about anyone. 

“Why do you look so sad, Sicheng?” 

Sicheng is right, to his own doubts.

“I am not sad, I was thinking,” he answers honestly as he falls back onto Yuta’s bed.

“About what?” Yuta mimics Sicheng’s actions and lays down as well.

Sicheng sighs, “Leaving.” 

“What?”

“Yes,” Sicheng rolls over on his side so that he can face Yuta, who is staring blankly at the ceiling, “I'm leaving the bunker, soon.”

“No need to be mean” Yuta pouts. 

Now it is Sicheng’s turn to snort loudly, he rolls around uncontrollably while tears prickle his eyes from laughter. _Mean._

“I don’t want you to leave,” Yuta then says with a serious tone in his voice that stills Sicheng. He finally turns to face him.

Sicheng lays his eyes on Yuta once again, “You know I cannot stay.”

Yuta just nods.

“Now we ruined the mood!” Yuta whines after a moment of silence.

Sicheng chuckles while playfully slapping Yuta’s arm, “Then come up with something fun to talk about!”

”Okay,” he says and makes a concentrated face, “what was your first kiss like?”

Sicheng immediately unlocks a memory, a memory that never fails to remind him why he didn't despise his life here as a kid. It would warm him up thinking about it just to leave him freezing, knowing he will never have what he once had.

This is _that_ past; Ten and Sicheng used to kiss. Yes, Sicheng _has_ kissed someone, despite everyone’s disbelief. It was only a few curious and innocent kisses shared in awkward silence, usually in, but not limited to, the women’s public bathroom (for some reason?), their classroom (when it was empty, thank god) and the greenhouse (for fresh oxygen). 

The kissing started when Ten confessed to him that he liked boys, he had cried a little while doing so too and Sicheng was confused. _Why are you crying like it’s a big deal?_ Sicheng had told him. _I like boys too, I like you_. But that is of course not what Ten meant, he found out when Ten asked if he ever wanted to kiss him. _And why not?_ Sicheng figured. He then kissed Ten. As mentioned it only happened a few times, again, out of curiosity. And it wasn’t even bad, it felt pleasant even. Turns out (to sixteen-year-old-Sicheng’s surprise); not every pair of guy bestfriends did the things he and Ten did.

He discovered that the hard way when his classmates shoved him into lockers, called him names and whatnot. Sicheng stopped kissing Ten, in fact, he hasn’t kissed anyone since.

As they grew up, Ten kept kissing boys, boys who weren’t Sicheng. Not that he minded. Even when he would hear giggles from the room that they now shared, he would be happy for Ten and let him exchange kisses with boys from the sports section in peace. 

Sicheng spoke to Ten only less and less, and soonly, the sounds coming from their room when Sicheng was not there, turned into something more than giggles. Ten grew up and learned to enjoy his stay in this bunker, while Sicheng grabbed a pen and paper, to plot his great escape.

That is not what Sicheng tells Yuta, however.

“I don’t recall,” Is what he replies instead.

Sicheng is not a liar, but to tell Yuta about that, feels like too much and he does not like to share a lot. 

Yuta looks uncertain before he says, “I don’t remember mine either, actually.”

Sicheng knows that he is lying as well.

He returns to his room shortly after. He is leaving in seven days, same time and same day as he tried last week, only this time, he will succeed. 

* * *

A few nights later it got colder than usual. The power went out which means there is no heating system to keep the rooms warm and Ten’s bed has returned to being vacant. Sicheng curls up under the thin blanket that is supplied, one per person. Cemented walls surrounding him are ice cold and stale, he sits up. _‘If you ever need anything, do ask,’_ Sicheng recalls Yuta saying. _Does that apply in the middle of the night? He can ask for a blanket, right? That will not be odd_ , he tells himself and quietly makes his way out in the corridor. Intense lights are still illuminating there, and it stings in Sicheng’s eyes. He remembers where Yuta and his family lives, it’s common knowledge, it is close to ground level and the air there is not heavy like where Sicheng lives. He takes the elevator, the thought of walking up the stairs pains a little too much. A short minute passes before the elevator dings and the doors slide open. It is quiet, even on this floor, only a few people outside of their rooms. Sicheng stops at the glass door separating the presidents housing as well as other important rooms from the rest of the floor. A female guard approaches him and asks him what brings him there.

“I am here to visit Yuta” Sicheng answers and allows his gaze to wander. The guard looks unconvinced.

“At midnight?” She asks.

“We are friends,” Sicheng states and rolls his eyes. It feels weird claiming him a friend, especially after just a few days of knowing him.

“Oh. Right, his friend… Third door to the left,” She permits him to enter.

* * *


	3. three

It’s four days until Sicheng is planning to leave and he is standing outside Yuta’s door, again. His tall frame almost swallowed by his gentle facial features and Yuta sucks in a breath when he opens the door.  _ Why is he over here, at this time?  _

Big eyes seek him to let him know ”It was so cold, I could not sleep.”

Yuta’s face feels flushed from his own room temperature, so he frowns thoughtfully knowing Sicheng’s room had been quite the opposite. Still unsure of what exactly he wants Yuta refrains from saying anything. 

“I don’t want to bother, but do you have a spare blanket?” Sicheng gently asks while looking down apologetically. 

“Of course, you can also take a warm bath if you’d like,” Yuta offers from where he stands dressed in only a pair of long pyjama pants. His shirt discarded in the corner of the room because it had been too hot with it on.

Yuta  _ swears _ he catches Sicheng eyeing him down and up before he looks shocked. 

“A bath? You can do that?” Yuta turns around to gesture towards his en suite but Sicheng has already stepped out of his slippers and is now pushing his way past Yuta into the room. He mumbles something about ‘ _ damn capitalism’ _ when he’s introduced to Yuta’s personal bathroom. 

“I take that as a yes,” Yuta laughs and turns on the faucet, Sicheng’s mouth hanging open slightly as he watches the water fill up the tub. “You don’t... Take baths?” 

“Nope, we only have shared showers where I live, with cold water,” Sicheng explains and Yuta visibility flinches at ‘cold water’ because what the fuck. When the hot water reaches the brim, Yuta points at the pair of bottles standing on the counter, shampoo and soap, he explains. And just when he is about to turn around and leave, Sicheng grasps his arm. 

“Where are you going?” he asks mildly. 

Yuta stares at him with dire confusion and replies, “Out? I’ll wait in the room.” 

Sicheng blinks sleepily a few times, and the flutter of his eyelashes catches Yuta off guard. Though he won’t admit that to himself, he won’t blow his cover because of some butterflies.

“Could you  _ maybe _ ...? Can we do it together?” Sicheng hesitates since he isn’t the one to ask, Yuta has noticed. But his request isn’t something Yuta can decline, not when Sicheng’s doe eyes are lingering a little too long on his bare upper half, at least. _Damn, this is hard_.

“Of course.” Yuta supposes they shower together on the lower floors since they have shared shower rooms. This is what is normal for Sicheng, but Yuta can’t help but gulp when he undresses, feeling his cheeks heat up and heartbeat increase. He can tell that Sicheng’s bottom lip is quivering, his body not fully recovered from the cold and skin still covered in goosebumps. Yuta wants to hug him almost, squeeze him so tight that the coldness pours out and then continue to hug him. He doesn’t know why, but he has to stop himself from letting his eyes wander as Sicheng’s had. 

“Well now I’m tired,” Sicheng concludes when they’re both sitting in the bathtub. His knees are pulled up loosely against his torso mirroring Yuta’s position.

“If you turn around, I’ll wash your hair for you,” Yuta offers while reaching for the shampoo bottle. Sicheng nods and spins around to face the wall, a bit of water spilling over the top while he does so. Yuta pours out a small amount of shampoo in his hand; Sicheng has short hair, so Yuta won’t need nearly the amount he uses for himself. He lathers it up between his two hands and gently massages it into Sicheng’s hair, and when he reaches his ears. Yuta notices one of them is slightly pointed, while the other is round. Sicheng is leaning into his touch, and his eyes are falling shut. But this time Yuta can’t help himself, he flings his arms around the man in front of him and pulls him into a tight hug from behind. Sicheng squeals out of surprise and flounders around to not fall back into Yuta’s grip, without success. 

“Ahhhhhhh! So cute! You’re like a half-elf!” Yuta cries while resting his cheek on Sicheng’s nape. 

He sighs but cannot stop himself from giggling and asks, “Are you  _ done _ ?”

“Yes, sorry,” Yuta apologises and lets go of Sicheng, who is now laughing. 

  
  


The water that was once burning and stinging at their skin is now comfortably lukewarm. Yuta’s limbs are twisted together with Sicheng’s underneath the foam and the room smells of soap. His back is still turned towards Yuta and whenever he turns his head to mention something his side profile is displayed; a small nose with a slight, barely noticeable bump and lips plump and tinted a muted pink tone. And when he stretches them into a smile and reveals his rounded teeth. Yuta is as one would say, whipped, doing nothing but feeding in to his selfish desires; letting his hands run all over Sicheng’s lean figure in excuse of helping him wash. His eyes once again losing focus and slowly closing as a response. 

You would think they’re kids, taking a bath together like this and causing the water overflow as they shifted around. But, they’re not kids anymore. Not experiencing a proper childhood doesn’t result in immortality, Yuta thinks, much to his own disappointment. His mind is foggy, just like the bathroom mirror and he can’t tell what’s happening to him. Why does he feel like this? It’s like his skin has become thin and he’s too vulnerable. Sicheng has turned around by now, facing Yuta and looking at him from lidded eyes. 

He says, “Yuta come with me,” and then tips his head back, letting his hair soak with water once again. 

Yuta just observes him, his whole body practically aching as he nods, mesmerised, if he  _ could _ , he would do anything for Sicheng. And Yuta knows too much, he knows things that he wishes he didn’t. He would tell Sicheng if he  _ could. _

* * *

Sicheng walks out of Yuta’s an hour or so later, with pruned fingertips and damp hair. He can literally feel how much the security guard who let him in judges him. Rightfully so though, he’ll admit it doesn’t look great. He smiles awkwardly at her while pursuing his walk of shame back to his room. Yuta had offered him to stay over; he declined, however. That bath was enough intimacy for another year or so. He laughs at that and receives an odd look from a bypassing janitor. He wonders if Ten is back yet, he typically came around a few hours after midnight. Sicheng almost wished he would be out for a little longer, having to explain where and with whom he was, feeling kind of embarrassing. Not that Ten would hang up banners with the words ‘ _ welcome home cheater’  _ or anything, it just feels rude to rub someone else in his face, he doesn’t want to hurt him after all. 

No one gets hurt, Sicheng makes the bed with his newfound blanket and slides under the covers. He falls asleep. 

* * *

Their last meeting takes place the next day; Yuta has got some explaining to do, to say the least. He shows up with a new facade, this one more shy and his hands almost tremble when he waves at Sicheng. 

“Are you sure you’re coming?” Sicheng questions with a raised eyebrow. 

Yuta seems to catch on to what he’s talking about without it being mentioned, “I just said I would because of that...." He looks around as if he’s searching for the right word “ _ Situation.” _

Sicheng hums unamused. He really isn’t allowed to be disappointed at Yuta not wanting to die for him, but he can’t help it. 

“You know... My blood was in other places than my head,” he chuckles, “you could’ve told me to drown myself in that tub and I’d do it.” 

Sicheng knows what he’s getting at, and he must understand. Men are stupid like that, they don’t think with their heads a lot. But really?  _ Drown _ himself? A bit over the top even for Sicheng, who happens to be a man as well.

Yuta grins at him like he’s concealing something and Sicheng’s room, falls silent. 

“But I meant it that time, I’m coming with you.” 

He finds himself staring at him with big eyes and doesn’t even flinch when Yuta yanks him into a hug. Sicheng asks if he’s sure two times, and then he asks if he’s really sure once more. 

“Seriously though, I don’t think anyone has anything here anyway,” he whispers into Sicheng’s neck while rubbing circles into his shoulder blades with his thumbs. 

Yuta suddenly let’s go, he says, “So, tell me the details.” 

* * *

  
  


Sicheng is leaving in a day, and he will get out this time. He limits his interactions with Yuta to only a few shared glances in the cafeteria to keep any suspicion away. Yuta mostly hangs around with his friends; people Sicheng can’t recognise and they are always loud, always making a scene. Sicheng rolls his eyes, and he wishes everyone was like him; reserved. Yuta is smirking while telling some kind of story to his friends, they listen eagerly with hungry eyes as Yuta explains something Sicheng doesn’t understand. Honestly, Sicheng finds Yuta to be a weird guy, and he probably should not trust him the way he does. He ignores it. Yuta will die for him, that is pretty trusting. And he will admit that Yuta’s hands felt rather thrilling on him and he will probably show up at his doorstep again, asking for more.  _ More _ soap and  _ more _ touches.

It’s too late for that. Because Sicheng feels it, he feels his heart twisting and turning. It is the first time since Ten. 

They meet at midnight in the greenhouse. Sicheng cannot believe he will finally be able to leave. And with Yuta. Sicheng’s bag has been packed since the night before, and it feels heavy on his shoulders. He notices Yuta’s lack of one. 

“Yuta? Where is your bag?” Sicheng asks with suspicion. 

Yuta seems to be detached from reality before he finally brings himself to look at Sicheng with a blank face. 

“There is something I need to tell you.”

* * *

> Yuta’s favourite flower is lavender, he knows that because when they went outside yesterday, he had picked an entire bouquet of them. Sicheng thinks they smell bad, but he had kept that to himself. Just like Yuta had kept to himself that he doesn’t like cheesecake. 
> 
> And they live together now, just the two of them, in an old mansion that they had found abandoned when they just got out. Sicheng enjoys their time together, even though it’s running out. The toxins and radiation in the air are starting to get to them. 
> 
> ” I’m still sad that you didn’t get to see the ocean,” Yuta says one day when they’re sitting on the porch. The coast is too far. 
> 
> Sicheng looks at him, “some things we cannot have, I suppose.” 
> 
> Yuta chuckles, “you can  _ dream _ about the ocean, then.” 
> 
> “I’m not talking about the ocean.” 
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> Sicheng takes a deep breath, one that is filled with the different scents of the earth. It’s like he had always hoped. The woods in their backyard doubles as a hide and seek arena and Yuta always wins. He watches Yuta search with his gaze until he notices him.
> 
> “Found you!” Sicheng laughs and curses before he stills. 
> 
> “Yuta, can we kiss?”
> 
> And  _ oh _ does Yuta kiss him, it’s more than just a kiss. He tugs at Sicheng’s shirt like there is no tomorrow and runs his hands up his bare sides. Sicheng is pressed up against a tree, and the moisture from the moss is slowly seeping into the shirt he took from the previous owners of the house. He doesn’t mind. His hands grasp at Yuta's shoulders now that his mouth is travelling down Sicheng’s neck. Yuta pulls him close and runs his fingers through Sicheng’s hair, and tugs a little. 
> 
> “Let’s go inside.” 
> 
> If you’re standing on the driveway, you can see the ghost city and if you take a left and walk for a few minutes, there’s a field. It is covered in flowers, and Sicheng will sometimes pick some lavender flowers and give them to Yuta, who’s eyes always light up the same. Sicheng loves the outside, and he will never regret leaving. Not even when Yuta falls sick. They learned about this in school. First comes the fatigue, then the nosebleeds. And after that, you just won’t wake up one day. Sicheng knows their fate, so does Yuta and shortly after that Sicheng falls ill as well. 
> 
> They are both stargazing on their last day. The stars are bright and clear, now that the earth is dark. Sicheng and Yuta lay on the grass side by side while they wait for the sun to set; the light is still golden and warm. Sicheng wants to say it, almost. The forbidden words;  _ I love you _ . Why is it so hard to say? When words are just words and there is no tomorrow, It will not matter. Or perhaps, that is exactly why it would matter. If this time is all that they are left with, words like those would just hurt, make them regret waiting so long. 
> 
> “How are you, Yuta?” Sicheng asks instead. 
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> He thinks long and hard, his life is coming to an end. And Yuta doesn't really want to die, neither does Sicheng, or at least so he believes. He glances over at Sicheng, who's skin is glowing in the golden sunlight. And maybe, just maybe, Yuta would be okay with dying like this. He sits up instead, the sky is turning darker.
> 
> “I’m so sorry, Sicheng, I  _ never _ wanted to hurt you,” he says while his sight becomes blurry from tears, “ We can try again.” 
> 
> “Okay.” 
> 
> They fall asleep soonly and the stars watch them from space. 
> 
> The sun rises over the landscape, and the dew on the grass reflects the morning sun like particles of glitter. It’s a slightly foggy morning and a very silent one. It remains that way; silent. The house stands empty once again and the lavenders grow back in the field that you can see if you take a left and walk for a few minutes. The woods in the backyard are quieter than ever and the master bedroom on the second floor is empty.
> 
> * * *

It’s one of those days again, when Sicheng can barely breathe. He will never be able to breathe probably, not here at least. If  _ only _ he got out. He despises Yuta for what he did. But he still loves him, he’s the only one Sicheng has ever loved and now he can never forgive him. 

The four concrete walls caging him in are suffocating, and he will just drift away. Away into another world where the pain is less painful and where there are no walls like these. He finds himself slipping back into the same image every time. It’s him and Yuta; they walk together on a grass field and they live in an abandoned mansion in the countryside. They play hide and seek in the backyard forest and their home smells of lavender. Sometimes they will make love on the king-sized bed in the master bedroom upstairs and sometimes they just sit on the porch and talk. When they run out of food, they will ride some rusty into the dead city and grab conserves from the supermarkets there. The stories in Sicheng’s mind always end the same, however. But he will _never_ forget that day he got a letter slid under the door of his cell.

It was from Yuta. A poem, titled _ Cheesecakes & Escapes.  _

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!!!
> 
> ive wanted to write this for some time now so i finally did,,,,
> 
> and thanks to my friend(s) who helped me come up with this!!
> 
> also, i have a part involving Ten that i didn't put in the story !! so lmk if you want it and i'll be happy to send it to u:)) (it's kinda short tho)
> 
> u can dm me on twt: @jwbeenthrough


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